17. FTM. started t Dec. 20th, 2013. lots of fun shtuff

 

thatfunnyblog:

this guy is systematically undoing the world

And disproving pluto’s planet status

(Source: mythaelogy)

(I work the floor at an independently-owned menswear store. The owner, my boss, spends a lot of time at the shop, and tries to keep prices as low as possible to help our city’s large homeless population get good job interview clothes. A clearly homeless man is wandering around the store. The other patrons are giving him looks.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

Customer: “I think you may want to call security. That… bum over there, he keeps feeling the suits and muttering to himself. I’m just sure he’s planning to steal one.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I think that’s quite unlikely.”

Customer: “Oh, come on, you know how they are! I mean, I’d keep an eye on him even if he wasn’t homeless!”

(The homeless man in question happens to be Hispanic.)

Me: “We don’t discriminate here, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, I’m sure the owner would want to hear about this!”

(I give in and call him over. The customer explains her concerns. As a black man, my boss isn’t happy with her racism, but agrees to talk to the homeless man.)

Owner: “Excuse me, sir, are you finding what you need?”

Homeless Man: “Well, not really. I’m hoping for something versatile in a dark or navy wool, but most of the options in my size are cut American style instead of European, which fits me a little better. Not to mention they’re all pinstriped, which I really don’t have the build for, you know?”

Owner: “I… yes, I understand. I think we may have some options over here, if you’ll follow me. How did you know all that?”

Homeless Man: “Back before I lost my job, I used to be really into this stuff. I’m not looking for anything fancy, just something I can use to look good for a job interview later today.”

(My boss helps him find something he likes, and comes to the counter with him. The suit is priced at $87.)

Homeless Man: *digging in his pockets* “Hang on, I think I’ve got enough.”

Owner: *to me* “Take my card. I’m buying it for him.” *to the homeless man* “Here. The suit’s yours, on one condition. After your interview today, you come back and apply for a job here too. Got it?”

Homeless Man: “I… oh my God, thank you. Thank you so much.”

(Two years later, that formerly-homeless man is my manager, and has a little girl with his new wife—the owner’s sister.)

the 2 types of parents when it comes to letting kids stay home from school

parent 1 : oh you don't want to go to school today? aww it's ok honey you can stay at home if you want :)

parent 2 : unless u got blood coming out of ur ears u goin 2 school

miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon:

onwardwall:

thegingerbalrog:

my-fandom-life:

dismantlerepaired:

whereismystrawberrytart:

hikingnerd:

timelordpillbug:

follovved:

amerlcanapparel:

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

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when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

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when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

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when russia sends you nudes

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the-more-u-know:

I tried reblogging this but the poster deleted it… why somebody would ever delete this from their dashboard during Halloween time Ill never understand but anyways, blessed be google, I share this here with you again :D
The best part is, I am listening to some music that is just amazing with this GIF :D
[More Halloween Related Posts]

the-more-u-know:

I tried reblogging this but the poster deleted it… why somebody would ever delete this from their dashboard during Halloween time Ill never understand but anyways, blessed be google, I share this here with you again :D

The best part is, I am listening to some music that is just amazing with this GIF :D

[More Halloween Related Posts]

crazyhamlet:

e1n:

I think regardless of style or personality, your character should run properly. Awkward run ruins everything.

Don’t believe me? Try running the wrong way, see how far that gets you.

For clarity’s sake: the difference between right and wrong here is the arms. Your arms travel opposite your legs.

hellabitcoins:

ilovesmoothjazz1998:

hellabitcoins:

aliwav:

listen you boutta have the thickest smoodie of all time, where is your liquid? your ice? weak ass aesthetics, try again

smh they leave the strawberry tops on… might as well leave the gotdam banana peels on

hellabitcoins
u can eat strawberry tops… & recent studies are showing banana peels are healthy n nutritious for u:…. The turntables

n im sure the outside of a coconut is mad high in fiber but im not bout ta eat woodchips cause of no govermence scienticians

hellabitcoins:

ilovesmoothjazz1998:

hellabitcoins:

aliwav:

listen you boutta have the thickest smoodie of all time, where is your liquid? your ice? weak ass aesthetics, try again

smh they leave the strawberry tops on… might as well leave the gotdam banana peels on

hellabitcoins
u can eat strawberry tops… & recent studies are showing banana peels are healthy n nutritious for u:…. The turntables

n im sure the outside of a coconut is mad high in fiber but im not bout ta eat woodchips cause of no govermence scienticians

(Source: vthevegan)

thescarfofsherlock:

windyegberts:

prettyboyandmoose:

dalailamaofficial:

have you ever thought about the fact that like 6 people died because romeo couldn’t control his dick 

This makes it sound like he went round with his dick smacking people to death because he can’t control it

is that not what happened 

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